Posts Tagged ‘television’

What the fuck? I’m away for five fucking days, and all hell breaks loose. Yesterday I found out that this dude died of cancer:

He had cancer in his ass and now he's dead. But he's still 800 times more awesome than you'll ever be.

Actually, that wasn’t that surprising when you think about it. Because he kinda looked like this:

And when you look like this:

You might wanna start thinking about writing your will and maybe arrange something with your favourite undertaker:

Yes. That dude.

But then out of fucking nowhere, Gary fucking Coleman falls, hits his head and dies from an epidural hematoma. 

…And now we’ll never know what the fuck Willis was talking about.

Suburban disturbances

In fact, this is not only a suburban phenomenon. Through the past years I’d been wondering: when the hell did it become socially acceptable to run around town in those tight ass running tights? I mean, if I walk around in ordinary tight tights without running, you know, just showing off my crotch and squashed testies in public, I’d be god-damn lynched, people would go all ku klux klan on my skinny ass! Hell, I’d be the first to lynch that moron. But as soon as you start running and look like you are doing some kind of exercise, showing off your boner for every children to see, that’s just a-okay! No wonder ass-rape is this popular these days.

Mother, the televison nazi

I live at home with my mom, until I start studying in Copenhagen and for the past month or two, I’ve been able to watch 4½ episodes of Two and a Half Men while my mom was in the house. Only, only whens she’s at work am I able to watch any tv-show that I want to watch. If I sit in the couch and watch something that I find interesting, even if I’ve been sitting there for 30 minutes or am directly in the middle of something, she will just put her ass down, take the remote and switch the channels, with her usual comment: “I don’t want to watch that stupid crap” or something like that.