Posts Tagged ‘rape’

For the past 4 or 5 months I’ve been looking for a place to live, once I get accepted into the University of Copenhagen. Which I will. Obviously. There’s just one tiny snag:

I’ve been on the fucking waiting list for a fucking room the past 4 or 5 months, and I fucking need a place to live before the 28th of August.

So, now they tell me, that they don’t think I’m gonna get one. What the fuck? Why the hell is that? Where the fuck am I gonna live then?

Yes. A real good idea, considering that it's fucking ILLEGAL!

On a bench?

I’ve got a tent, so I suppose I could live in a tent for a month or so?

Yeah, better than sleeping on a bench. Wait, what is that? Oh, that's illegal too? Well, fuck me...

So, sleeping on a bench in the park or in a tent is illegal? Well, maybe it’s for the best. At least I won’t get tent raped

… by a black guy.

Suburban disturbances

In fact, this is not only a suburban phenomenon. Through the past years I’d been wondering: when the hell did it become socially acceptable to run around town in those tight ass running tights? I mean, if I walk around in ordinary tight tights without running, you know, just showing off my crotch and squashed testies in public, I’d be god-damn lynched, people would go all ku klux klan on my skinny ass! Hell, I’d be the first to lynch that moron. But as soon as you start running and look like you are doing some kind of exercise, showing off your boner for every children to see, that’s just a-okay! No wonder ass-rape is this popular these days.

Mother, the televison nazi

I live at home with my mom, until I start studying in Copenhagen and for the past month or two, I’ve been able to watch 4½ episodes of Two and a Half Men while my mom was in the house. Only, only whens she’s at work am I able to watch any tv-show that I want to watch. If I sit in the couch and watch something that I find interesting, even if I’ve been sitting there for 30 minutes or am directly in the middle of something, she will just put her ass down, take the remote and switch the channels, with her usual comment: “I don’t want to watch that stupid crap” or something like that.