Posts Tagged ‘ass’

What the fuck is up with people these days? I just came back from taking a huge crap at the public library. Well, it could have been any damn public crapper anywhere on this God forsaken planet.

Imagine this: you sit alone, peacefully on the toilet, just minding your own business, reading the paper, when all of the sudden, all Hell breaks lose: Your colour blind fucktard of an Alcoholic Dad  tries to break the door open. I mean, for fuck’s sake, why didn’t you just take a look at that small, but yet still impressively visible red dot above the door handle that, not verbally but colourfully, states that this paticular toilet is fucking vacant?!

What the Hell is wrong with these people? What’s going on in their sick, twisted minds??

Wow, geez… Dude, that little reddish thingy above the door handle is red… Well, uh, that means that the door is locked, so I can’t get in… Oh no! I CAN’T GET IN?!! Fuck, but i NEED to get in!

[retard starts breaking the door the fuck down with all his might]

Goddammit, mother FUCKER, OPEN UP YOU SON of a BITCH! WHY CAN’T I GET IN?? WHY? WHYYY, GOOOOOD?! WHAT THE HELL’S WRONG WITH THIS CRUEL, CRUEL WORLD??

I really don’t know if that was really what went down in the guy’s head, during my crapper-assault, but I think it’s something like that.

Din alkoholiske far slår dig, fordi du er vedtaget

Suburban disturbances

In fact, this is not only a suburban phenomenon. Through the past years I’d been wondering: when the hell did it become socially acceptable to run around town in those tight ass running tights? I mean, if I walk around in ordinary tight tights without running, you know, just showing off my crotch and squashed testies in public, I’d be god-damn lynched, people would go all ku klux klan on my skinny ass! Hell, I’d be the first to lynch that moron. But as soon as you start running and look like you are doing some kind of exercise, showing off your boner for every children to see, that’s just a-okay! No wonder ass-rape is this popular these days.

Mother, the televison nazi

I live at home with my mom, until I start studying in Copenhagen and for the past month or two, I’ve been able to watch 4½ episodes of Two and a Half Men while my mom was in the house. Only, only whens she’s at work am I able to watch any tv-show that I want to watch. If I sit in the couch and watch something that I find interesting, even if I’ve been sitting there for 30 minutes or am directly in the middle of something, she will just put her ass down, take the remote and switch the channels, with her usual comment: “I don’t want to watch that stupid crap” or something like that.