Posts Tagged ‘acid’

First the Snowpocalypse hit the States. Now something… Else is upon us: the Dustpocalypse. If some of you (yes, I know that at least a few people out there read my blog) hadn’t noticed, an Icelandic volcano, the Eyjafjallajökull, erupted last week and sent the European airports checkmate. In Copenhagen alone a stunning 2.250 arrivals and departures has been canceled. That’s not just a few flights. That’s a lot.

Coincidentally I was in Copenhagen when the shit hit the fan, and at first it was just a few cancelled flights to Norway and the airspace were said to be closed until 6 pm, but that was this Thursday, today is Monday and the airspace is still closed. Thank the Heavens I’m not trapped somewhere, like Copenhagen. One of my friends are currently stranded in Copenhagen on his way from Bangkok to Dublin (he has been in Thailand since last year, so I don’t blame him for wanting to go home).

I don’t know if it’s officially been dubbed the Dustpocalypse (yet) so I’m doing it now. Yeah, you stupid fucker, it’s nothing like what happened in Washington, man! You might say. But the fact is: fuck you! Here’s a list of what happens when a country is covered in 2 meters of snow:

  • People are trapped in their houses – no, they just have to stop being so fucking lazy and start walking(!) to the store instead of taking the fucking car.
  • Roofs collapsing – yeah, I don’t really have anything good on that one. That’s just too bad.
  • Snowball fights – fuck… YES!

So stop whining. Here’s what happens when a fucking country is hit by an enormous fucking volcanic dust cloud:

  • Airspace is closed – you don’t want fucking glass on the inside of your jet engines when you’re in a plane, don’t ya?
  • Climate changes – fuck yes, Al Gore! When the atmosphere is filled with ashes the warm rays of the Sun are not able to heat the Earth thus causing a cold summer – Yay, Al Gore says, it’s putting a stop to the global heating! No, fucker, read the next item.
  • Toxicity – okay, volcanic ashes are more or less made of sulfur, and sulfur is not good, not for humans nor plants, got that Al?
  • Acid rain – you know what happens when sulfur get’s mixed with the chemicals in our atmosphere? You get motherfucking acid rain, motherfucker! Just take a look on this shit:

SO2 + OH => HOSO2

=> HOSO2 + O2

=> HO2 + SO3

=> SO3 (g) + H2O (l)

=> H2SO4 (l)

Chemistry is the fucking truth brother… So if you got any sculptures or statues of marble or gypsum, I’d advise you to get them inside. Quickly. Oh, and by the way, acid and plants don’t mix.

  • Snow vs. sulfuric ashes – yeah, snow melts. You know what happens do dust and ashes that gets into the fucking atmosphere? It stays there. For a long time. When the volcano on what today is the Greek island of Santorini erupted? The ashes spread all around the fucking globe. They found traces of the ashes in the glaciers on frggin’ Greenland.

So, what were the consequences of the Snowpocalypse? Please I really wanna know, because I really doubt it was fair to associate a snowstorm with the damn apocalypse, when the Dustpocalypse kicks his fucking ass.

I travel by train. A lot these days (I make my money as a test subject in medical trials and experiments, no shit, and because of that I have to show up at various research facilities, universities and hospitals around the country). I guess I could fly to Copenhagen when I need to, but there’s just one thing: I fucking hate planes. You sit uncomfortably. You have to show up like an hour or two just to get on the fucking thing. You need a passport and it’s 30 times more polluting than trains. Taking off is unpleasant. Landing is unpleasant, and how the hell does 650 tonnes of aluminum (which, by the way, is one of the most corrosive/fragile metals in the world – just ask yourself: why can’t I bring a glass of pickes i my luggage? The answer? The pickle-water is corrosive enouth to eat through the belly of the plane. Think about that) get airbourne?

Anyway, I was sitting for 5 hours in the train today, and all of a sudden I realised the one thing that makes trains one of the most horrible means of transport: people. Old people. Young people. They all have one thing in common when they sit in a train. They just can’t talk queitly in their damned phones. Why do I Ihave to be able to listen to every goddamn word those people say when they are on the phone? I do not need to know, why uncle Walther needs chemotherapy, why little Claus needs an endoscopy or how good That Guy was in bed last night or – brace yourself… How huge he was. Holy shit, at least you aren’t allowed to use a cellphone on an airplane.

Is it really that hard to use the space between the train compartments if you just can’t keep the fuck quiet? I’m not a saint either, when I seldom talk on the phone in a confined space (like a train) I keep quiet and brief. It is none of the other people’s business to listen to my conversation.

Holy fuck, at least I don’t need to take the train ’till wednesday… Or maybe I just take the plane?