Archive for the ‘Tv shows’ Category

Fucking kitchen shows

Posted: November 8, 2011 in Tv shows
Tags: ,

Oh my gawd! What’s the fucking deal with all these goddam cooking shows?!

I mean, when did it become amusing to watch people yell at each other while cooking food that I will have no chance in fucking hell prepare myself?!

If they have to show people make gay french cuisine then fucking show me how to make frog legs or creme brulée or all that fancy shit, instead of showing Gordon “I’ve-got-serious-emotional-issuses” Ramsay scream at those poor wannabe-cooks try to do just half as good as the friggin God of the Kitchens!!!

I don’t give a fuck about Gordon Ramsay, but what I do give a fuck about is creme bru-fucking-lée!

Hanks!!

Posted: November 7, 2011 in Tv shows
Tags: , ,

So I finally started watching the new season of Dexter and then all of a sudden, motherfucking Tom Hanks!!!

… But then, it’s his friggin’ son!
Damn, talk about lookalikes!

Ever since Mother, the television nazi, started banning me from using the tv when I wanted to watch something she didn’t, I found out that I had to do something. And one day I stumbled upon NCIS – sure I’ve seen it on tv, but I found out that I could watch it on the internet whenever I wanted to! So I started with the first episode of the first season and worked my way through the entire series in about a month…

But it wasn’t until I finished Family Guy that I realized what had happened. I’d become addicted to these god damned shows. But it didn’t end there. So far, I’m up-to-date with:

  • House, MD
  • NCIS
  • Scrubs
  • Friends
  • Family Guy
  • American Dad
  • Two and a Half Men
  • The King of Queens
  • Futurama
  • Bones
  • How I Met Your Mother
  • The Big Bang Theory
  • True Blood (I know, but Anna Paquin is pretty to look at)
  • Harper’s Island (well, I’m not actually up-to-date with this one, because it’s only 13 episodes)
  • Dexter

And I’m currently watching the first season of Lost and I can easily watch three or four episodes a day (that, by the way, is how much I’m bored these days) and before I couldn’t stand those people who was enslaved by the tv, forced to sit week after week and watch the same show. But I love these tv shows, and maybe the reason why I don’t hate myself that much for it, is because I’m not a slave like “the others”, I can watch each and every episode of my shows when I want, I am not forced by the programmed schedule to sit every Thursday night and watch my show, I can do it when I’m bored and have nothing to do or when I can’t find a good movie or stuff like that.

The only problem is, that when I finish one show, I’m left with two choices: what for the next season to start (which is typically a half or one year later) or start watching a new one (which makes me addicted to that one as well).

Om man talar med Gud du är religiös. Om Gud talar med dig, du är psykotisk.

Suburban disturbances

In fact, this is not only a suburban phenomenon. Through the past years I’d been wondering: when the hell did it become socially acceptable to run around town in those tight ass running tights? I mean, if I walk around in ordinary tight tights without running, you know, just showing off my crotch and squashed testies in public, I’d be god-damn lynched, people would go all ku klux klan on my skinny ass! Hell, I’d be the first to lynch that moron. But as soon as you start running and look like you are doing some kind of exercise, showing off your boner for every children to see, that’s just a-okay! No wonder ass-rape is this popular these days.

Mother, the televison nazi

I live at home with my mom, until I start studying in Copenhagen and for the past month or two, I’ve been able to watch 4½ episodes of Two and a Half Men while my mom was in the house. Only, only whens she’s at work am I able to watch any tv-show that I want to watch. If I sit in the couch and watch something that I find interesting, even if I’ve been sitting there for 30 minutes or am directly in the middle of something, she will just put her ass down, take the remote and switch the channels, with her usual comment: “I don’t want to watch that stupid crap” or something like that.

Sliced eyeball in 3... 2... 1...

Sliced eyeball in 3... 2... 1...

But I really need to sleep. I feel like watching some old surrealist/avantgarde movie or analyse a painting, but the truth is, that it is now 23:59 or 11:59 pm, and I started watching the first season of Lost yesterday (and me being a sucker for that kind of stuff… House, M.D., How I met your Mother, Scrubs, NCIS, Futurama, Family guy, Bones – tv shows in general, I really, really need to watch at least two episodes before I got to bed… I know, it’s bad…) so I really don’t have the time to spend two hours watching, thinking and writing about art right now, even though it would be awesome to put on some jazz and just be intellectual again for once. It was much easier back in high school when I had to do that kind of thing, but without a deadline from a teacher and knowing that not writing the 5 page essay about Un Chien Andalou would have consequences, I’m just not that motivated…