Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

So, last night me and some friends decided that we’d like to set a crucifix on fire. So we did that, aswell as using my iPhone to record it. Awesome huh? Nope, not compared to what happend afterwards.

Wheb we played back the video we saw that it was photo/video nr 666 in my photo-folder…

Well, I be damned…

”Where did they go?” Okie asked. “I think they went up the stairs” Teresa answered. Okie the Walrus Boy looked at her. “Why did they do that?” he asked. “Because Jesus is up there” she answered and pointed her hideous bony finger at the top of the stairs. They were brown and worn, and they smelled like burnt leaves. “W-w-w-who’s Jesus, Teresa?” the Walrus Boy stuttered, the hair on his back started to stand up. There was something eerie about the old hag, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Was she nice? Or was she bad? She sure looked evil to Okie, but she had given him a box of chocolates earlier, some very good chocolates indeed, so she couldn’t be bad. Could she? Okie had never seen a bad person give anyone any candy.

“Jesus is the son of God, my little tusky friend. He is a great man and he died for your sins” she answered. Her voice sounded like she’d just downed a handful of gravel. Harsh and unwelcome. “Don’t you want to meet Jesus, Okie?”. Okie looked up the stairs. It was dark up there. Couldn’t see a thing. Was that music coming from above? He looked back at the old woman, her hump moved with the soothing rhythm of her breath. Her breath smelled like burnt matches. She smiled at him. With her teeth. All of them. They weren’t normal. They looked a little shorter than normal and it seemed like there were twice as many as normal.

“I don’t know. He sure sounds like a nice fella” the Walrus said. “But why is he all the way up there? Can’t he come down here? The stairs look so very dangerous to step on!” Okie said. He looked in the chocolate box for the last piece of coco delight. They were all gone. “Because, my curious little friend, Jesus is old now. He was born waaaaay back, almost 2.000 years ago, and when you are 2.000 years old, you wouldn’t be happy to walk down those stairs, would you? Now get up there and say hello…”

Okie looked at the stairs again. Tiny ants crawled all the way up his spine as he took the first step. The wood started screaming as he took the next. He stopped at once: “Why are the steps screaming?” he yelled. “Those are some very old steps, young friend. Just hurry up there. Maybe I’ve got another box of candy for you if you hurry!” the old witch lured. Okie sure liked candy, and that Jesus guy did sound nice, and if he was that old, it sure would seem rude not to say hello. Not many old people tend to get visitors and all their friends are dead. Okie knew that because his great grandfather’s friends died too.

As he took the final steps towards the top of the stairs, he looked down at Teresa. It seemed that the staircase has gotten longer since he started climbing them. “Don’t you want to see Jesus too, Teresa?” The bottom of the stairs seemed so very far away that he had to yell for her to hear him.

“I will join you in a minute young lad” Why didn’t she have to yell for Okie to hear her? This was indeed a very weird house. Very weird indeed.

At the top of the stairs Okie saw a small door. It looked like a door for a dog. Not a small one, but certainly not for a big one either. He knocked three times: “Mr. Jesus? Mr. Jeeeeesus? Are you in there?” Okie didn’t get any answer; he took hold of the door knob and opened the door. He really had to squeeze his way in there.

When he got inside Okie was stunned out of his mind! The room was huge! Not just big, but really, really huge! There were at least 50 meters to the next wall and when he looked up he couldn’t see the ceiling! Never had Okie been in such a huge room before. He started to walk about. There wasn’t much to see. The walls were covered in white wallpaper with something that looked like purple flowers and the floor was made of wood, the same wood as the staircase.

A voice called out. It came from the other side of the room. Okie started to walk towards it. “Hello? Anybody there? Mr. Jesus?” he asked, hoping to get an answer. “Who’s there” the voice answered. It reminded Okie of his great grandfather just before he died. “I am here” the voice said. It sounded like whoever it belonged to where very, very tired. At the opposite side of the door he came in from, he found him. Jesus. He looked very old, after all Teresa said that he was about 2.000 years old. And that’s old. His eyes where pale and his long white hair and beard almost reached his hips. “Are you Jesus?” Okie asked. “I am Jesus Christ” Jesus answered. “What are you doing here, young boy?” he asked. The Walrus Boy tried to look him in the eye, but his wrinkles was in the way. He looked as if he was in great pain. “I came here with Teresa. She’s an old hag but she gave me chocolates, she doesn’t smell good but I think she’s nice. There were some other people too, but I don’t know where they went” the boy said.

Then he saw what had happened to Jesus. He was strung up on a cross! Somebody had put nails through his hands and feet and hung him on a wooden cross! “Oh, Jesus! Why are you on a cross? Don’t it hurt?” the choked Walrus asked. “It doesn’t matter anymore young lad, get away from here. Bad things happen here. The things I have seen. Oh, dear Lord, get away from here!” the tired Jesus replied. “But I have to get you down from there!” said Okie. “No! The woman you are with. She is not good. She will get you the same way she got me! Get away from here quick!” said Jesus. He tried to shout but he was too weak. Then suddenly the door went up with a huge slam and in the door stood Teresa. She looked older than before. “Young boy! Get away from here”

But it was already too late. The boy and Jesus were doomed. As Teresa moved towards them, Okie felt the hairs on his back stand up, and he was certain that he’d eaten the last chocolate in his life. “Jesus!” Okie screamed. “We are doomed!” and suddenly all went black.

When you float around in pure darkness nothing seems real. No light. No sound. No smell. No nothing. When you can’t smell, feel or hear anything, are you really present then? Where do you go, when you die? These where the thoughts that went through the mind of the Walrus Boy. Okie found himself floating through the mighty abyss of darkness that is death. He didn’t know what had happened, but he didn’t feel anything. Suddenly he felt an eerie presence in the dark, something familiar. He didn’t know if his eyes where shut or open. How could he?

Then, like a huge explosion out of nothing, all his senses returned. A woman was shaking him, yelling, at him. “Okie! Okie!” she screamed. The boy didn’t understand. Who was she? Where had he been? “You were just having a bad dream, boy!” she said, as Okie started to realize where he was. He recognized the posters, his bookshelf. It was just a bad dream! But it felt so lifelike. He didn’t understand, it had felt so lifelike, there was no doubt that he had died earlier.




So, yesterday music lost one of its greatest voices. That of Ronald James Padavona, father of

\m/ THE HORNS \m/

He was known from such groups as Rainbow, Black Sabbath, Heaven & Hell and his own band, Dio. Asides from these he was also the man behind Hear ‘n Aid, a collective fundraiser, raising money for famine relief in Africa.

Ronnie James Dio, July 10th, 1942 – May 16th, 2010

Goodnight sweet prince.

I noticed how my ratings has been dropping a lot the past weeks, so here’s a picture of a rock ‘n roll-jew upping the horns:

I recently moved to a new apartment, and because I’m about to move again in about three or four months I didn’t feel like unpacking all of my books – only the ones I felt like I needed in my impressively small bookshelf, and I thought of making a list of a few of them*:

  • Albert Camus: The Fall
  • Allah/Muhammad: The Quran
  • Boccaccio: Decameron
  • Dante: The Divine Comedy
  • Euripides: Electra
  • Finn Høghøj: Pre-Socratics
  • Franz Kafka: The Verdict
  • Frede Møller Kristensen: Texts of Buddhism – Pedagogical Studies
  • Friedrich Nietzsche: Thus Spoke Zarathustra
  • George Orwell: 1984
  • George Orwell: Animal Farm
  • God/Moses: The Bible
  • Henrik Ibsen: A Doll’s House
  • Homer: The Illiad
  • Homer: The Odyssey
  • Howard Philips Lovecraft: Necronomicon
  • Jean-Paul Sartre: Existentialism is a Humanism
  • Johannes Sløk, Mogens Pihl & Erik Lund: The European History of Ideas
  • K.E. Løgstrup: Creation and Destruction
  • K.E. Løgstrup: Martin Heidegger
  • K.E. Løgstrup: The Ethical Demand
  • Ken Keysey: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
  • Lewis Carroll: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
  • Lewis Carroll: Through the Looking Glass
  • Marty: Nachel: Homebrewing for Dummies
  • Professor Wally Jay: Small Circle Jiu-jitsu
  • Sv. Aage Bay: Contemporary Foreign Religions
  • Victor Hugo: Les Misérables
  • William Shakespeare: Collected Works
  • Willy Thrysøe: Human Sexuality: a Philosophical and Biological Analysis
  • + About 15 books about various fields of mathematics and chemistry

*When possible I’ll use the English titles – otherwise I’ll try to translate in best the best possible way.

Jag vet inte något bättre, men i Amerika har de visat
att i låten “Beyond the Realms of Death” av Judas Priest
Finns det röster i huvudet som säger: Ge dig själv en chans
Men det är svårt när du inte vet vilket håll kulan ut
Så jag sa släpp rädslan för sataniska musik
För du blir först hjärndöd, så det kan inte slå klick
Och även om Ozzy Osbourne hoppade en dopade get i luften
Finns det inget fel med sunt förnuft …. nej

… Today, everybody’s a little Irish

I do not believe in God, Allah, Jehova, Shiva or Buddha. I do not believe in faith or destiny or that “things happen for a reason”. I believe in freedom. The opportunity to do whatever I want, whenever I want. That I can board a plane to Los Angeles this afternoon and spend the rest of my days as a rich, classy guy-hooker for all the rich ladies, or that I can punch the pregnant lady in the seat right next to me in the stomach and cause an instant abortion (love the song, actually), and no one can do anything about it – I hold all of these life-changing decisions in my hand, and I can make them whenever I like. My only regret would be, if I didn’t take advantage of it at some point.

So all you sad, sobbing determinst idiots out there: stop whining, take some responsibility for your life and live a little. You can always regret on your death bed.

PS.: for the record: I didn’t punch the pregnant lady in the stomach.

PPS.: actually I didn’t punch anyone at all…

Jesus säger: inte en kuk.

So… Lamb is watching? I really, really love Penny Arcade, but seriously, I just don’t get this! There’s clearly some BioShock 2-stuff going on here but what the fuck? Can somebody please explain this to me? Am I really getting so old, that I no longer can manage to keep up with today’s gaming pop-culture? Personally I love lamb, some people say that it tastes like whool, but c’mon! I find that it tastes like fucking clouds!

Think about it, ever read a book called the Bible?

The Holy Bible, the book of books, now for Game Boy Advance!

It’s basically this huge brick of paper, coming in two parts: Part I and Part II. The first part, called The Old Testament is a collection of novellas and stuff, telling you that if you do not obey God (a megalomanic old dude with a beard) you get killed, stuck by lightning, made to salt or stoned (yeah, killed). Anyways, this God fella is PMS-ing all through Part I, until the writer (who by the way, is inkognito) decides that, that God fella might want to change direction, so he sends his son, this happy, surfer-looking dude down to earth:

His name is Jesus Christ and was born on christmas eve some 2000 years ago (in March), he was the child of the Virgin Mary, God and the Holy Ghost (OMG, isn’t the Father/God, the Son/Jesus and that Ghost the same as the Holy Trinity?! – yes they are, so Jesus jumped his own mom and is the son of himself).

Anyway, let’s get back on track; the writer of the Bible thought: “Hmm, God was actually preeeeetty mean in the first part, let’s make a huge plot twist and introduce this peace loving Jesus-guy, and give God a mental make-over and change his style from:

“Thou shalt not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me.” (Exodus, 20:2-17)


“Hey Dude, it doesn’t matter if you steal, rape, commit adultery or kill people. As long as you say sorry you’re welcome into Paradise when you die. Don’t think about going to Hell. Just say sorry. Actually, screw that! I’ll just sacrifice my son on a wooden cross, and make him pay for your sins. How’s that?” (Pretty much all of the New Testament)

And that was pretty much what Jesus said himself:

*Spoiler alerts ahead*

Actually, when God’s plan works out in the end, and Jesus is about to die on his wooden cross he [Jesus] gets second toughts and cries out for God’s help, but alas! God didn’t answer the phone, and Jesus died. Aaw.

In the end of Part II aka The New Testament, the world ends in the Apocalypse, and there is this huge friggin war between Heaven and Hell, and Jesus comes back in the shape of a lamb (an old symbol of Jesus’ innocence and stuff like that) and kills everyone who won’t put a mark on their right hand or forhead, and the remaining people are lifted up to the skies and lives happily ever after in New Jerusalem along with God, the Ghost and Jesus.

So, if lambs are little Jesuses, let me have one more! The catholics seem to love consuming Jesus-bread (and Jesus-wine, that magically transforms into his blood… Damn you, catholic vampires!), and who can disagree with me when I say, that I’d rather have a nice piece of meat, lamb-beef than a piece of dry, moldy bread… Cheap catholics…

Han, som bränner ner en annan mans hus, är en mycket trevlig man.