Archive for the ‘Art’ Category

So, last night me and some friends decided that we’d like to set a crucifix on fire. So we did that, aswell as using my iPhone to record it. Awesome huh? Nope, not compared to what happend afterwards.

Wheb we played back the video we saw that it was photo/video nr 666 in my photo-folder…

Well, I be damned…

”Where did they go?” Okie asked. “I think they went up the stairs” Teresa answered. Okie the Walrus Boy looked at her. “Why did they do that?” he asked. “Because Jesus is up there” she answered and pointed her hideous bony finger at the top of the stairs. They were brown and worn, and they smelled like burnt leaves. “W-w-w-who’s Jesus, Teresa?” the Walrus Boy stuttered, the hair on his back started to stand up. There was something eerie about the old hag, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Was she nice? Or was she bad? She sure looked evil to Okie, but she had given him a box of chocolates earlier, some very good chocolates indeed, so she couldn’t be bad. Could she? Okie had never seen a bad person give anyone any candy.

“Jesus is the son of God, my little tusky friend. He is a great man and he died for your sins” she answered. Her voice sounded like she’d just downed a handful of gravel. Harsh and unwelcome. “Don’t you want to meet Jesus, Okie?”. Okie looked up the stairs. It was dark up there. Couldn’t see a thing. Was that music coming from above? He looked back at the old woman, her hump moved with the soothing rhythm of her breath. Her breath smelled like burnt matches. She smiled at him. With her teeth. All of them. They weren’t normal. They looked a little shorter than normal and it seemed like there were twice as many as normal.

“I don’t know. He sure sounds like a nice fella” the Walrus said. “But why is he all the way up there? Can’t he come down here? The stairs look so very dangerous to step on!” Okie said. He looked in the chocolate box for the last piece of coco delight. They were all gone. “Because, my curious little friend, Jesus is old now. He was born waaaaay back, almost 2.000 years ago, and when you are 2.000 years old, you wouldn’t be happy to walk down those stairs, would you? Now get up there and say hello…”

Okie looked at the stairs again. Tiny ants crawled all the way up his spine as he took the first step. The wood started screaming as he took the next. He stopped at once: “Why are the steps screaming?” he yelled. “Those are some very old steps, young friend. Just hurry up there. Maybe I’ve got another box of candy for you if you hurry!” the old witch lured. Okie sure liked candy, and that Jesus guy did sound nice, and if he was that old, it sure would seem rude not to say hello. Not many old people tend to get visitors and all their friends are dead. Okie knew that because his great grandfather’s friends died too.

As he took the final steps towards the top of the stairs, he looked down at Teresa. It seemed that the staircase has gotten longer since he started climbing them. “Don’t you want to see Jesus too, Teresa?” The bottom of the stairs seemed so very far away that he had to yell for her to hear him.

“I will join you in a minute young lad” Why didn’t she have to yell for Okie to hear her? This was indeed a very weird house. Very weird indeed.

At the top of the stairs Okie saw a small door. It looked like a door for a dog. Not a small one, but certainly not for a big one either. He knocked three times: “Mr. Jesus? Mr. Jeeeeesus? Are you in there?” Okie didn’t get any answer; he took hold of the door knob and opened the door. He really had to squeeze his way in there.

When he got inside Okie was stunned out of his mind! The room was huge! Not just big, but really, really huge! There were at least 50 meters to the next wall and when he looked up he couldn’t see the ceiling! Never had Okie been in such a huge room before. He started to walk about. There wasn’t much to see. The walls were covered in white wallpaper with something that looked like purple flowers and the floor was made of wood, the same wood as the staircase.

A voice called out. It came from the other side of the room. Okie started to walk towards it. “Hello? Anybody there? Mr. Jesus?” he asked, hoping to get an answer. “Who’s there” the voice answered. It reminded Okie of his great grandfather just before he died. “I am here” the voice said. It sounded like whoever it belonged to where very, very tired. At the opposite side of the door he came in from, he found him. Jesus. He looked very old, after all Teresa said that he was about 2.000 years old. And that’s old. His eyes where pale and his long white hair and beard almost reached his hips. “Are you Jesus?” Okie asked. “I am Jesus Christ” Jesus answered. “What are you doing here, young boy?” he asked. The Walrus Boy tried to look him in the eye, but his wrinkles was in the way. He looked as if he was in great pain. “I came here with Teresa. She’s an old hag but she gave me chocolates, she doesn’t smell good but I think she’s nice. There were some other people too, but I don’t know where they went” the boy said.

Then he saw what had happened to Jesus. He was strung up on a cross! Somebody had put nails through his hands and feet and hung him on a wooden cross! “Oh, Jesus! Why are you on a cross? Don’t it hurt?” the choked Walrus asked. “It doesn’t matter anymore young lad, get away from here. Bad things happen here. The things I have seen. Oh, dear Lord, get away from here!” the tired Jesus replied. “But I have to get you down from there!” said Okie. “No! The woman you are with. She is not good. She will get you the same way she got me! Get away from here quick!” said Jesus. He tried to shout but he was too weak. Then suddenly the door went up with a huge slam and in the door stood Teresa. She looked older than before. “Young boy! Get away from here”

But it was already too late. The boy and Jesus were doomed. As Teresa moved towards them, Okie felt the hairs on his back stand up, and he was certain that he’d eaten the last chocolate in his life. “Jesus!” Okie screamed. “We are doomed!” and suddenly all went black.

When you float around in pure darkness nothing seems real. No light. No sound. No smell. No nothing. When you can’t smell, feel or hear anything, are you really present then? Where do you go, when you die? These where the thoughts that went through the mind of the Walrus Boy. Okie found himself floating through the mighty abyss of darkness that is death. He didn’t know what had happened, but he didn’t feel anything. Suddenly he felt an eerie presence in the dark, something familiar. He didn’t know if his eyes where shut or open. How could he?

Then, like a huge explosion out of nothing, all his senses returned. A woman was shaking him, yelling, at him. “Okie! Okie!” she screamed. The boy didn’t understand. Who was she? Where had he been? “You were just having a bad dream, boy!” she said, as Okie started to realize where he was. He recognized the posters, his bookshelf. It was just a bad dream! But it felt so lifelike. He didn’t understand, it had felt so lifelike, there was no doubt that he had died earlier.




I’m a huge fan of Ray William Johnson’s “show” on youtube, Equals Three,

but what the fuck is up with all those videos of cats doing boring stuff?

Yeah, a cat standing on its hind legs. Fuck me.

How ’bout some more of this:

or this:

Cats are just not that friggin funny, dude. But people getting hurt are.

Btw, I don’t know how this post is even remotely interesting.

What the fuck? I’m away for five fucking days, and all hell breaks loose. Yesterday I found out that this dude died of cancer:

He had cancer in his ass and now he's dead. But he's still 800 times more awesome than you'll ever be.

Actually, that wasn’t that surprising when you think about it. Because he kinda looked like this:

And when you look like this:

You might wanna start thinking about writing your will and maybe arrange something with your favourite undertaker:

Yes. That dude.

But then out of fucking nowhere, Gary fucking Coleman falls, hits his head and dies from an epidural hematoma. 

…And now we’ll never know what the fuck Willis was talking about.

So, yesterday music lost one of its greatest voices. That of Ronald James Padavona, father of

\m/ THE HORNS \m/

He was known from such groups as Rainbow, Black Sabbath, Heaven & Hell and his own band, Dio. Asides from these he was also the man behind Hear ‘n Aid, a collective fundraiser, raising money for famine relief in Africa.

Ronnie James Dio, July 10th, 1942 – May 16th, 2010

Goodnight sweet prince.

Let’s admit it. I’ve got the attention span of a three year-old. When it comes to literature that is. How many books have I started to read? And how many did I finish before starting on a new one? Actually I don’t have an answer, because I really don’t know. What I do know is, that right in this moment I’m reading four books at once. Lord of the Flies, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, The Divine Comedy and a book on Egyptian art history.

I read Lord of the Flies for the first time in the 7th grade, great book, even back then, but I started reading it again, because I think I’d appreciate it more now that I’m older and wiser.

Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Thus Spoke Zarathustra is the book I just can’t finish. I’ve had it for about two years and I’ve never read past page 27. It’s not that it’s boring or anything, I love Nietzsche and his philosophy, but it’s like there’s some kind of barrier I just can’t read past. So now, for the 5th time, I’m giving it a shot.

The Divine Comedy is the classic I actually never finished. Mostly because the coolest part is the Inferno, Hell. Purgatory and Paradise sounds dull, but truth be told, I never started reading Purgatory or Paradise.

And why am I reading about Egyptian art history? Firstly, because I’m supposed to study Middle Eastern archaeology after the summer holidays, and I like to be a little up front and I don’t know anything about art in ancient Egypt. Secondly, because I just happened to pick it up during a book sale and I thought: that’s good toilet reading. Yeah. It is.

… No, seriously. I don’t need my fucking ratings dropping. It probably my own fault though, I haven’t been blogging motherfucker that I used to be, but a lot of shit’s been going down the past few weeks. Okay, not a lot’s been going down actually, I’ve just spend my time playing Left 4 Dead (the best game ever and I don’t care what You say, you fucking Jew!) and watching zombie movies.

I stumbled upon Zombieland last week, and I think I’ve seen it four times so far. Best damn zombie flick since 28 Days Later, why? Because Woody “Motherfucker” Harrelson is the baddest motherfucker since Clive Owen in Shoot ’em Up and Gerard Butler in 300.

Woody Harrelson as the banjo playing, pick axe wielding, Dave Murray-aficionado (with an obsessive lust for twinkies), Tallahassee is definately his best role since Natural Born Killers. What about his part in No Country for Old Men? Fuck you, that movie sucked so much ass that I nearly vomited.

It all started with Shaun of the Dead, then came the Norwegian Dead Snow, or Død Snø with it’s over-the-top nazi-zombies. Just awesome.

Be there, or be square, mo-fo!

Ser du? Du kan bara inte lita på någon. Den första tjejen jag släppa in i mitt liv och hon försöker äta upp mig.



I noticed how my ratings has been dropping a lot the past weeks, so here’s a picture of a rock ‘n roll-jew upping the horns:

I just took a look at the list of Will Smith‘s in development-projects, and I must say, damn he’s busy but fuck, what the hell are the directors thinking? Here’s the list:

  1. Independence Day 3 (details only on IMDbPro)
  2. Angelology (details only on IMDbPro)
  3. The Last Pharaoh (details only on IMDbPro)
  4. Independence Day 2 (details only on IMDbPro)
  5. Greenbacks (details only on IMDbPro)
  6. It Takes a Thief (details only on IMDbPro)
  7. Flowers for Algernon (details only on IMDbPro)
  8. Welcome to the Sticks (details only on IMDbPro)
  9. Monster Hunter (details only on IMDbPro)
  10. Extra Protection (details only on IMDbPro)
  11. Time Share (details only on IMDbPro)
  12. Untitled I Am Legend Prequel (details only on IMDbPro)
  13. Harold and the Purple Crayon (details only on IMDbPro)
  14. Brushback (details only on IMDbPro)
  15. The Billionaire’s Vinegar (details only on IMDbPro)
  16. I, Robot 2 (details only on IMDbPro)
  17. Sisters of Mercy (details only on IMDbPro)
  18. Amulet (details only on IMDbPro)
  19. The City That Sailed (details only on IMDbPro)
  20. Hancock 2 (details only on IMDbPro)
  21. The American Can (details only on IMDbPro)
  22. Cooked (details only on IMDbPro)
  23. My Wife Hates Your Wife (details only on IMDbPro)
  24. Overboard (details only on IMDbPro)
  25. Men in Black 3 (details only on IMDbPro)
  26. The Long Run (details only on IMDbPro)
  27. Uptown Saturday Night (details only on IMDbPro)
  28. Unfinished Business (details only on IMDbPro)

The first thing that came to my mind was: damn, he’s not wasting his time on his family, that’s for sure. The next thing is the titles of some of the movies. Specifically I’m talking about:

  1. Men in Black 3
  2. Hancock 2
  3. I, Robot 2
  4. Untitled I Am Legend Prequel
  5. Independence Day 2
  6. Independence Day 3

Let’s start from the top. Men in Black 3? They get their stuff together. It’s been confirmed that Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones will be reprising their roles as K and J, thank god, but still? MIB 2 sucked ass, for fuck’s sake, who wanted Johnny Knoxwille in that movie??

Anyways, they better come up with a better story than last if this is ever gonna work. Personally I really, really hope it’s going to be a better movie than nr. 2 – somebody must have learnt from their previous mistakes.

Okay, then it’s Hancock 2.

I can see this happening. The first one was great, and superhero movies always come with sequels and that’s good, and I really wanna see who things work out with Hancock and his sister. Hancock 2 is gonna be awesome, unless they really, really fuck it up. I mean, the first one wasn’t that complex, so I guess the second one don’t have to be either to become a sucess?

I’m really, really having a hard time with this one. Not for the same reasons as with MIB 3, but simply because I fucking hate when you pull a book down from your bookshelf and think damn, I that’ll make a good movie. And it’s always a good book, a highly acclaimed book like Isaac Asimov’s I, Robot from 1950 and instead of actually make a movie that follows the book, you base some of the story on a few pieces of the book, and steal the book’s title to get the attention from the audience. Oh yeah, and a few years later the same movie director thinks something in the line of: hey, that movie I made. The one I based on that book. Yeah, let’s make a sequel. Yeah, make a sequel that does not exist. You can’t just come up with the ideas for a sequel to a book you did not write, when the book does not even have a sequel.

Then it’s the Untitled I Am Legend Prequel, again, stupid ass director. You the same thing. You base a movie on a book, actually to make a movie the only similarities to the book you base your movie on being the name of the main character, the setting of the story, and then change everything else. Then you decide to make a prequel to this story you didn’t come up with. In my world, that is some kind of litterary theft. You steal the work of the original author and make something new up. If I made a “prequel” to the Mona Lisa and tell everybody that, that’s how Mona looked 15 years before Da Vinci painted the first one, people would laugh.

As to Independence Day 2 and 3, I can’t but say, what the fuck? The first one had major flaws, how the hell did Will Smith learn to steer an alien spacecraft with such dexterity and skill in just 5 minutes? Yeah, he was  a fighter pilot, but still, it’s a fucking UFO. Get real. Second, these aliens came from an other galaxy, had force shields and a huge fucking laser cannon that atomized the White House in a second. Pretty advanced, right? Yeah, you’d think so. If you were able to travel from a galaxy far, far away to Earth, wouldn’t you be smart enough to not getting your fucking ass kicked by a fucking virus stored on a fucking floppy disk?

Anywho, I’m a little excited to see what have happened to Earth after the (failed but yet disastrous) invasion, but still, aliens, if you get fucked in the ass by tiny humans with a floppy disk, why, why the hell do you wanna come back here?

28 movies? Ain’t that the very definition of over-kill? Either he really, really enjoys staying on set all his time, instead of taking a break and spend some quality time with the family, or the financial crisis hit his ass and he needs the money (do I have to say Gwyneth Paltrow in Shallow Hal?). As for the quality of his movies, I hope it’s the first.

Mother… Fucker… About an hour ago, I was lying in my bed, listening to a few Robert Johnson recordings, while I stared at the famous picture of him with his Gibson L1:

I just couldn’t stop staring. God damn, it’s probably one of the creepiest pictures ever taken! I mean, that devil/cat-thingy in the cloud/noise to his right, and his face. Fuck, I don’t know ’bout you, by I’m scared. Anywho, I fell asleep, and fuck me, I almost screamed when I woke up, with the picture (on the cover of the CD) right next to my face!