Archive for July, 2010

Yes. It’s old news. They’ve been around for years now, but I feel that it’s my duty (as The God of Good Taste) to make just a minor note on this topic.

If you read this post’s title, and still don’t get what I’m talking about, then it’s this:

And this:

Teenagers taking pictures of themselves, either in front of their mirror with a lousy mobile cam, or with Your Mom’s lame ass Sony Cyber-shit camera

Appearently ALL fucking teenagers can get their hands on a decent digital camera these days. For crying out LOUD!

What’s the deal with that? And half of the retarded boys and girls who take these stupid pictures has a lower IQ than their fucking shoe size. And why do I say that?

Because anyone with decent wits fucking knows that the only people who find them attractive is guys like this:

Yes. Retarded bodybuilders on steorids. And yes. They DO lack any physical signs of testicles. Plus, they lactate. Yes. They do.

and girls like these:

Your Mom

And yes. That is a certified crack whore. They’ll bite on anything.

It's a house! On WHEELS!

Yeah, I’m sittin’ in a caravan doing some security stuff at a soccer tournament. Not much happenin’ right now, actually.

I just drank a coke.

A regular one, not one of those gay ass diet cokes.

Uncle Sam. Gayest of the gays.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better fate just pokes it’s ugly face in through the door and says: “what up, motherfucker? Wanna see something awesome?”

Well, do ya? Okay.

I give you:

Baconnaise! It’s mayonnaise. With fucking BACON!

Wait? That’s not new? Then how ’bout the Bacon Explosion?

It’s bacon. At it explodes! In your fucking ARTERIES!

Yes. That’s a huge fucking piece of bacon wrapped with bacon. And awesome.

I can feel my arteries clotting just by looking at it!

But that’s still a little last year?

Okay, then take a look at this:

Waffle on a stick?... Fuck... Yes.

Yes. That is a friggin’ waffle on a friggin’ stick. That is a waffle stick. Just think about it:

You take the best of two worlds:

Everybody knows, that stuff on a stick is better than just stuff

Stick. Sticks. When you put something on a stick, you know it instantly gets better. Who’d eat a popsicle

This kid's got a GIANT popsicle. No pedo-pun intented.

… If it wasn’t on a stick?

Plus, when your food is on a stick, you can walk around eating it!

"Uuuuh, look at me! I'm walking around eating my christmas tree-esque watermelon flavoured icy frozen delight! So, fuck you, sir, cuz I'm AWESOME!"

No need to ever being bound to a table when you need a something to eat!

No need to ever do the dishes when you’re done eating! Cause you can just throw away the stick!

… And! Now, you can go to your friend’s house with your sticked awesomeness and show him how awesome your waffle stick is, and rub your awesomeness right in his fucking face!

Waffle on a stick!

Sticks with waffles!

Waffle delight!

Waffles! With sticks!

Because AWESOME just got AWESOMEER!

For the past 4 or 5 months I’ve been looking for a place to live, once I get accepted into the University of Copenhagen. Which I will. Obviously. There’s just one tiny snag:

I’ve been on the fucking waiting list for a fucking room the past 4 or 5 months, and I fucking need a place to live before the 28th of August.

So, now they tell me, that they don’t think I’m gonna get one. What the fuck? Why the hell is that? Where the fuck am I gonna live then?

Yes. A real good idea, considering that it's fucking ILLEGAL!

On a bench?

I’ve got a tent, so I suppose I could live in a tent for a month or so?

Yeah, better than sleeping on a bench. Wait, what is that? Oh, that's illegal too? Well, fuck me...

So, sleeping on a bench in the park or in a tent is illegal? Well, maybe it’s for the best. At least I won’t get tent raped

… by a black guy.

As we all know, the Norwegian writer Knut Hamsun wrote a book in 1890 called Hunger about a guy who’s hungry.

A meal! A meal! My kingdom for a meal!

… And I am fucking starving!

I’ve got a bacon lunchbox, why are YOU awesome?

Could eat

Could eat that too

And that one too

And that one for desert

Then I’d look like him:

Fat guy is being fat

And the best part is, that I wouldn’t feel so damn hungry!

… Like that Guatemalan kid

I just made it home from this year’s Roskilde Festival. It was my first year at Roskilde, and I must say, for nine straight days, fucking Roskilde was the happiest place on the planet, and the center of the whole damn Universe!

The fucking CENTER!

It was the most awesome time, just laying in the sun drinking cheap wine

OMGWTF?! FRIGGISHLY CHEAP FUCKING WINE!!!!!!11!!1!!11!

and listening to music. Well, I didn’t attend that many concerts actually, but these guys:

Yeah. Fucking MOTÖRHEAD! Drink up ya bastard!

Up front. Mosh pit. Oh. Yes.

And then, there were the reunited Danish alt-rock/grunge heroes in Dizzy Mizz Lizzy

Did you hear that Dizzy was reunited?

I wish I could say that I saw The Prodigy and Muse too, but unfortunately I was scheduled for work that day, collecting refund cans and bottles for guys like these

Smile, yo! Good, back to work, kiddo!

in some Asian country

Next year, I’m definitely not collecting any fucking cans or bottles. That shit was just too much. Working for 8 hours straight doing something that the gypsies around the camping area already did for my, just don’t work for me, and collecting cans and bottles just ain’t that friggishly arousing. Fuck me. Jesus.

… Oh yeah, because of the heat (it’s been like 30 degrees all the time), people tend to drink a lot.

A fuckload of beer

And what happens when you drink that many fucking beers? Yeah, this happens

THIS IS... URINE!

So, here’s our equation:

X = (Urine*desert dry sand)+a little wind

X = Urine sand+a littlewind

X = urine dust

I fuck you not. When you didn’t smell all the urine (every vertical object seemed to be a toilet) you could fucking taste that nasty ass urine dust. Motherfucker.

Oh yeah, then I also saw:

Gorillaz

&

Them Crooked Vultures

Is it just me, or is Josh Homme getting fatter and fatter?