Archive for June, 2010

… What the fuck?

Posted: June 2, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

I just saw a woman with a floppy disk. Who the hell use a floppy disk these days?

Floppy disk. The steam engine to my combustion motor. The LP to my CD. The VHS to my Blueray.

Obviously the world fucks itself up whenever I’m not around at home. Dio died. Dennis Hopper died. Gary Coleman died. And among all this death I totally forgot this son of a bitch:

People in Guatemala really should stop trying to divide by zero. That shit ain't right.

Yes. That is a huge ass fucking hole in the ground. And no, it is not some photoshopped crap

Photoshopped crap

… It really, really is a huge fucking hole in the middle of an intersection in Guatemala City

Yes. Right there.

… Where three houses used to be. The freaky thing though, is that a similar thing occured in Guatemala City just three years ago, killing three people.

Damn nature, you scary!
 
So what kind of freak of nature is this motherfucker?  Well, a mother fucking sinkhole like this bitch

This bitch.

is formed by the gradual dissolution of fucking subsurface rock (usually rock such as limestone or motherfucking carbonate rock) by circulating ground water. As the rock dissolves, big ass spaces and caverns develop underground until only a bitch thin layer of support remains on top. At one point that fucking layer also collapses revealing the years of fucking erosion beneath, and often an underground fucking river far below.

 

 

I’m a huge fan of Ray William Johnson’s “show” on youtube, Equals Three,

but what the fuck is up with all those videos of cats doing boring stuff?

Yeah, a cat standing on its hind legs. Fuck me.

How ’bout some more of this:

or this:

Cats are just not that friggin funny, dude. But people getting hurt are.

Btw, I don’t know how this post is even remotely interesting.

What the fuck? I’m away for five fucking days, and all hell breaks loose. Yesterday I found out that this dude died of cancer:

He had cancer in his ass and now he's dead. But he's still 800 times more awesome than you'll ever be.

Actually, that wasn’t that surprising when you think about it. Because he kinda looked like this:

And when you look like this:

You might wanna start thinking about writing your will and maybe arrange something with your favourite undertaker:

Yes. That dude.

But then out of fucking nowhere, Gary fucking Coleman falls, hits his head and dies from an epidural hematoma. 

…And now we’ll never know what the fuck Willis was talking about.

So, Dennis Hopper just died… Of cancer.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And sometimes that shit causes cancer. Tough luck.

… That’s just sad.

Oh yeah, and today’s the International Children’s Day, so… Congratulations on all the fucking kids.

Soon-to-be, YMCA-singin' Village People coverband!

Seriously. Fucking kids. Well, those babies in the picture are cute. Except for the boy dressed as a fairy. Or princess or whatever. Yeah, they are kinda cute. But those aren’t kids, those are babies. Kids I fucking hate.

You are adopted, and your mother hate you. Oh yeah, your dad's a drunk and sleeps with prostitutes. That includes your mom. Fuck you.

I fucking hate spending four fucking hours in a fucking train with 60 fucking 8th graders shouting and yelling with their fucking mouths. How the hell is it even possible to be constanlty noisy and shouty for four fucking hours straight?

So happy fucking Children’s Day. I hope you get syphilis and die, you miserable fuck.

******

Ps. That felt great getting all that shit out of my system, so here’s a drawing of a giraffe I found on google

Yay, look at me! I'm a giraffe, the tallest motherfucker on the planet, take that elephants! Look the 8 year old daughter of a prostitute that drew me can't even make it look like I'm in balance. Fuck me, I'm tipping!