Archive for April 21, 2010

I just took a look at the list of Will Smith‘s in development-projects, and I must say, damn he’s busy but fuck, what the hell are the directors thinking? Here’s the list:

  1. Independence Day 3 (details only on IMDbPro)
  2. Angelology (details only on IMDbPro)
  3. The Last Pharaoh (details only on IMDbPro)
  4. Independence Day 2 (details only on IMDbPro)
  5. Greenbacks (details only on IMDbPro)
  6. It Takes a Thief (details only on IMDbPro)
  7. Flowers for Algernon (details only on IMDbPro)
  8. Welcome to the Sticks (details only on IMDbPro)
  9. Monster Hunter (details only on IMDbPro)
  10. Extra Protection (details only on IMDbPro)
  11. Time Share (details only on IMDbPro)
  12. Untitled I Am Legend Prequel (details only on IMDbPro)
  13. Harold and the Purple Crayon (details only on IMDbPro)
  14. Brushback (details only on IMDbPro)
  15. The Billionaire’s Vinegar (details only on IMDbPro)
  16. I, Robot 2 (details only on IMDbPro)
  17. Sisters of Mercy (details only on IMDbPro)
  18. Amulet (details only on IMDbPro)
  19. The City That Sailed (details only on IMDbPro)
  20. Hancock 2 (details only on IMDbPro)
  21. The American Can (details only on IMDbPro)
  22. Cooked (details only on IMDbPro)
  23. My Wife Hates Your Wife (details only on IMDbPro)
  24. Overboard (details only on IMDbPro)
  25. Men in Black 3 (details only on IMDbPro)
  26. The Long Run (details only on IMDbPro)
  27. Uptown Saturday Night (details only on IMDbPro)
  28. Unfinished Business (details only on IMDbPro)

The first thing that came to my mind was: damn, he’s not wasting his time on his family, that’s for sure. The next thing is the titles of some of the movies. Specifically I’m talking about:

  1. Men in Black 3
  2. Hancock 2
  3. I, Robot 2
  4. Untitled I Am Legend Prequel
  5. Independence Day 2
  6. Independence Day 3

Let’s start from the top. Men in Black 3? They get their stuff together. It’s been confirmed that Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones will be reprising their roles as K and J, thank god, but still? MIB 2 sucked ass, for fuck’s sake, who wanted Johnny Knoxwille in that movie??

Anyways, they better come up with a better story than last if this is ever gonna work. Personally I really, really hope it’s going to be a better movie than nr. 2 – somebody must have learnt from their previous mistakes.

Okay, then it’s Hancock 2.

I can see this happening. The first one was great, and superhero movies always come with sequels and that’s good, and I really wanna see who things work out with Hancock and his sister. Hancock 2 is gonna be awesome, unless they really, really fuck it up. I mean, the first one wasn’t that complex, so I guess the second one don’t have to be either to become a sucess?

I’m really, really having a hard time with this one. Not for the same reasons as with MIB 3, but simply because I fucking hate when you pull a book down from your bookshelf and think damn, I that’ll make a good movie. And it’s always a good book, a highly acclaimed book like Isaac Asimov’s I, Robot from 1950 and instead of actually make a movie that follows the book, you base some of the story on a few pieces of the book, and steal the book’s title to get the attention from the audience. Oh yeah, and a few years later the same movie director thinks something in the line of: hey, that movie I made. The one I based on that book. Yeah, let’s make a sequel. Yeah, make a sequel that does not exist. You can’t just come up with the ideas for a sequel to a book you did not write, when the book does not even have a sequel.

Then it’s the Untitled I Am Legend Prequel, again, stupid ass director. You the same thing. You base a movie on a book, actually to make a movie the only similarities to the book you base your movie on being the name of the main character, the setting of the story, and then change everything else. Then you decide to make a prequel to this story you didn’t come up with. In my world, that is some kind of litterary theft. You steal the work of the original author and make something new up. If I made a “prequel” to the Mona Lisa and tell everybody that, that’s how Mona looked 15 years before Da Vinci painted the first one, people would laugh.

As to Independence Day 2 and 3, I can’t but say, what the fuck? The first one had major flaws, how the hell did Will Smith learn to steer an alien spacecraft with such dexterity and skill in just 5 minutes? Yeah, he was  a fighter pilot, but still, it’s a fucking UFO. Get real. Second, these aliens came from an other galaxy, had force shields and a huge fucking laser cannon that atomized the White House in a second. Pretty advanced, right? Yeah, you’d think so. If you were able to travel from a galaxy far, far away to Earth, wouldn’t you be smart enough to not getting your fucking ass kicked by a fucking virus stored on a fucking floppy disk?

Anywho, I’m a little excited to see what have happened to Earth after the (failed but yet disastrous) invasion, but still, aliens, if you get fucked in the ass by tiny humans with a floppy disk, why, why the hell do you wanna come back here?

28 movies? Ain’t that the very definition of over-kill? Either he really, really enjoys staying on set all his time, instead of taking a break and spend some quality time with the family, or the financial crisis hit his ass and he needs the money (do I have to say Gwyneth Paltrow in Shallow Hal?). As for the quality of his movies, I hope it’s the first.

I don’t have anything relevant nor intelligent to write about, but still I felt like I had to. So, what’s going down? Not much. I need to get myself together and call that masseuse (no, not a prostitute, if I need that I’d call Your Mother), I’ve been delaying it for about two or three weeks now, but my back is really killing me. It feels like I have two lumbs of agony pressed in between each scapula and my spine. One of each side of cause. Fucking exams. I have had them for almost 10 months now, but my economy didn’t allow me to pay for a massage, it still doesn’t, but my girlfriend gave me a gift certificate. Still, they’re a reminder, telling me to sit straight, and not bend my back when I sit in a chair reading or writing or stuff like that. That’s how I got ’em in the first place. My advice to you, dear reader (or jew) is a little something I got from this book I got called The Bible:

When you study for your exams, don’t sit in a couch bent over a small coffee table. Use a goddamn desk and a nice chair. The couch will fuck your back up. Seriously.

Okay! Motherfucking newsflash! It’s started to snow! Seriously huge motherfucking flakes of snow! Shit, last week the thermometer said 10-12 degrees! It’s supposed to be spring now, not fucking winther! I bet it’s that damn volcano, yet another side effect of the Dustpocalypse. Fucking snow!

När du studerar till din examen, inte sitta i en soffa böjd över ett litet soffbord. Använd ett jävla skrivbord och en fin stol. Soffan kommer knulla din igen. Allvarligt.